the heart in my chest
by neverephemeral
Summary: "I'm sorry," Natasha stared at Darcy directly, her stare was soft but unwavering. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I was trying to spare you the hurt." She let out a breath and Darcy swore she saw her eyes begin to water. "I care about you more than you know and I hope that you can one day forgive me."
**Here's the next part of the series!**

* * *

 _Go quiet now_  
 _Go sound go safe_  
 _Open hands are hard to hold onto anyway  
_ **-Open Hands by Ingrid Michaelson**

 **I** t took Natasha everything to not run into the hospital and down the hallway. Her hands were shaking so bad that she had clenched them into tight fists at her side, not wanting anyone to see how scared she was at the moment. Everything was a blur around her; her mind only focused on one thing, one person. _Darcy._ The more she thought about the other woman lying in a hospital bed, the quicker her legs moved. She should have locked Darcy away in her apartment or closet, stopped her from doing the mission. Fury be damned.

 _"Uhm… I'm not an Avenger," Darcy stared at Fury in confusion._

 _The whole team, including Pepper, Jane and Darcy all sat around the rectangular glass table in the meeting room. Fury had ordered a surveillance mission for a man he believed was involved with HYDRA and he wanted Darcy to do it._

 _"Exactly," Fury said. "You won't be recognized and you'll blend in with college students."_

 _"She is a college student," Tony chimed in._

 _Darcy looked at him, "I graduated actually."_

 _"Really?" Tony asked._

 _She nodded._

 _"Huh," Tony furrowed his brow. "Why did I not know this?"_

 _Fury sighed, "focus, Stark." He looked back at Darcy. "You're the only one who can do this."_

 _"She's a civilian," Steve said. "Do you think it's the best idea to send her in?"_

 _"She's sitting right here," Darcy rolled her eyes. She hated that they were all talking about her like she wasn't sitting right there. The only one who hadn't said anything was Natasha, which shocked Darcy a little._

 _"When did you graduate?" Tony asked._

 _"Like three years ago, Tony," Darcy answered and looked back at Fury. "So, what do I do? I just follow the dude around and see if he has creepy HYDRA tendencies."_

 _"More dangerous, creepy, HYDRA tendencies," Bucky added which earned him a disapproving look from Steve._

 _Fury nodded, "more or less."_

 _"I don't think this is such a good idea," Banner said._

 _Jane nodded, "I agree."_

 _"I believe Lady Darcy can accomplish it," Thor said and reached his hand out toward Jane and gave her arm a gentle, comforting squeeze. "We'll be nearby in case anything happens."_

 _"You don't have to do this," Steve looked at Darcy. "We can send someone else in, Darce."_

 _Darcy gave Steve a smile, she appreciated his concern. However, despite feeling a little unsure about doing it, she wanted to do it. She wanted to prove not just to herself, but the others that she was more than capable of taking care of herself. Plus, by doing this, she felt as though she was an actual member of the team. Darcy had also been training with Bucky and Steve in self defense for the past two months so she wasn't so helpless. That was definitely something and of course, she had her trusty taser._

 _"_ _She has been training," Clint said. "And it's like Thor said, we'll intervene at the first sign of trouble."_

 _Fury looked at the only one who hadn't said anything. "Romanoff?"_

 _Darcy quickly looked at the red haired woman who sat across from her at the table. She had been unusually silent during the whole meeting and she was interested to see what Natasha thought of the whole idea. Her heartbeat began to beat more rapidly as Natasha stared at her with her usual poker face. It was silent for a moment._

 _"It's the best option we have," Natasha said._

 _Darcy furrowed her eyebrows, what the hell kind of answer was that?_

 _"It's settled then," Fury said. "Lewis, you're on."_

* * *

As Natasha neared Darcy's room, she found most of the team sitting or standing just outside of it. Clint shot up from his seat when he spotted her, "Tasha."

She ignored him and went straight to the window, looking through the blinds to see Darcy laying in her hospital bed. Darcy's lip had been cut and she had a minor black eye but it was the bullet wound on her left thigh that made Natasha's heart stop. She clenched her jaw.

"She's going to be okay," Clint placed his hand on her shoulder.

"The bullet missed the major artery," Steve said. "She's weak from the blood loss but they're confident that she's going to make a full recovery."

Natasha nodded, unable to take her eyes off the brown haired woman. She doesn't think she's ever felt this sick and worried before and she didn't like it. She hated the feeling of not being in control, of being helpless and that's exactly what she felt right now.

"Where is he?" Natasha asked.

"Tasha-" Clint started.

She clenched her jaw once again, "tell me where he is."

"Tony and Bucky are with him back at the tower," Steve answered.

Natasha turned on her heels and stormed back down the hallway with Clint calling after her. She ignored him and continued on her way.

* * *

 _Darcy was busy packing a backpack when Natasha came and found her. She was wondering how long it would take the red haired woman to come speak to her and a little part of her, a lot of her actually, had hoped that she would find her before she left. She had been annoyed with how Natasha answered Fury's question and she wanted to know what she meant by that._

 _"You're first mission," Natasha said._

 _Darcy shook her head, "it's only surveillance."_

 _"Of a potential dangerous man."_

 _"Well," she turned her head to look at Natasha, "I'm the best option we've got, right?" She went back to packing._

 _"What's that suppose to mean?"_

 _"I mean what the hell kind of answer was that?" Darcy spun on her heels to look at her. "I'm the best option we have? I mean really?"_

 _"What did you want me to say? Go ahead, have fun. Pack light," Natasha snapped. "It's only spying on someone we think is apart of HYDRA but don't let me stop you."_

 _Darcy snorted and rolled her eyes._

 _"Or I don't want you to do it."_

 _That made Darcy pause. She looked at Natasha with confusion on her face._

 _"I don't want you to do it," she repeated._

 _Darcy felt as though the air had been sucked out of her._

 _"It's too dangerous," Natasha said._

 _"It's okay for you to go on dangerous missions though?"_

 _Natasha shook her head, "I've been trained for it. You haven't."_

 _"I've been training."_

 _"Not like that, Darcy and you know it."_

 _"I'm learning on the job," Darcy said. "I'm an intern it's what I do."_

 _Natasha shook her head._

 _"It's not really up to you on whether or not I do this," Darcy said. "You have no right."_

 _Natasha nodded, "I know."_

 _Silence fell upon them once again and Darcy grabbed her backpack. She gave Natasha one final look before she made her way out the door. Before she was able to pass the other woman, Natasha stopped her; she grabbed onto Darcy's elbow. Darcy's heart stopped, she was standing so close to the other woman._

 _"Be careful."_

 _Darcy nodded, "I will."_

* * *

When Darcy awoke in the hospital, the first person she saw was Natasha standing at the end of her bed. The second thing she saw was how bruised her knuckles on her right hand were. She sat up in bed, wincing slightly. "What did you do?"

Natasha didn't answer her.

"Natasha?" Darcy asked. "What happened to your hand? Have you been icing it."

"I'm sorry," Natasha stared at Darcy directly, her stare was soft but unwavering. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I was trying to spare you the hurt." She let out a breath and Darcy swore she saw her eyes begin to water. "I care about you more than you know and I hope that you can one day forgive me."

With that she turned on her heels and left the room. Darcy remained un-moving in her hospital bed, staring after the red haired assassin.

* * *

 ** _Thank you for reading. :) I hope you enjoyed it._**


End file.
